Powerlessness and helplessness, my favorite feelings (end of sarcasm)

Alongside fear, powerlessness and helplessness are the two feelings I don't like to feel. I don't even like talking about them, but I like feeling them even less.

That's why I regularly fall for projection here.

Ooooh, there's so much stuff I have to do instead of just allowing myself to feel blocked, powerless, and helpless.

I have to watch this show, cook, exercise, and even clean (another thing I don't particularly enjoy). And social media, of course. Everything is a distraction to avoid going into that emotional state. Who can relate?

And in reality, it doesn't make anything better; it makes it worse. Sometimes, I also get physical symptoms like headaches, an upset stomach, or neck pain. At least, that's how it is for me, so please don't take this as a guide for how it should be for you. I'm in a kind of relationship with my body, and it tells me when something isn't right. And how is it supposed to do that? It doesn't have many options. Examples are pain or tension.

Well, that's energetics. It's how our thoughts and feelings, or in this case, the conscious blocking of an unpleasant feeling, can become noticeable in interaction with the body.

Have you ever noticed that in yourself?

(Note: Of course, what I'm saying here doesn't replace an assessment by a medical professional you trust. I am not a medical professional but deal with the interaction between body, mind, and soul. The prerequisite for this is that medical causes for the symptoms have been ruled out or clarified, which is the case for me.)

So here I am, hours later, after I semi-successfully suppressed my feelings because they are unwelcome, with an additional state of tension in my body, and from now on, it's impossible for me to not look at it.

So I do just that. I sit down, turn off all distractions, and look, listen, and feel, first to the tense part, then to the original feeling. Of course, there's still resistance at first that I also have to let go of. The resistance to feeling it. You know, the feeling I wanted to suppress. And then it's there, the emotional state, and I'm finally ready to feel.

The despair that comes with feeling powerless and helpless. And the feeling that I have no idea how to make it right again. I think I'm the most miserable person in the world at that moment. Or the only one this happens to (that's another classic thought). And I allow myself to feel that self-pity.

I know in my head that I'm certainly not the most miserable person in the world, and I don't want to compare myself to others. That wouldn't be fair.

It's an expression of how it feels to me, and I want to give this feeling space in this moment.

Because that's the whole trick—to feel, to feel bad, and to allow it. Not to push it away.

Basically, that's all there is to it. The feeling is already there, so to say or imagine that it isn't—how useful is that? And yet, we do it again and again.

Feelings want to be felt, not seen, heard, discussed, ignored, or suppressed.

If I do that, they come back, never really go away, and my body also starts to show me that. It's not worth it to me.

That doesn't mean that I can't control my feelings. Maybe I can do that too well; otherwise, the suppression wouldn't be possible. No, I don't necessarily have to give in to emotional impulses in situations where I don't think it's appropriate.

It's similar to: you don't always have to say out loud everything you think. 😉

But when I'm in a private setting, I want to keep it as authentic as possible and allow myself to show who I am. And this 'allowing myself to show' starts with me allowing myself to feel what's there, even if it's uncomfortable.

P.S. The sooner I've 'felt' it, the faster it disappears again.

That's the real message I'd like to convey by sharing this experience.

Recognize your projection.

Recognize how much these blockages can paralyze us.

Feel, even if it's unpleasant.

In my view, that's the only way to get back to your center.

Best of luck with that.

Susanne